People often get stalked and sometimes it remains not easy to stretch a line between being annoyed and being interacted with clingy activities like stalking. Many times, people believe that ignoring and not reacting is the key to success. But things just don’t stop there and get extreme often which triggers discomfort and fear with no time. What to do in these situations? What do stalkers want from their victims?
There is so much to know beforehand we get into the point of what do stalkers want from their victims actually. There are many forms of stalking and stalkers that one may have to bear with. Here are a few things that you need to know about stalking and stalkers.
- Around 18.3 million women in the US are the victims of stalking during their lifetime.
- Men are also stalked as around 5.7% (nearly 6.5 million) of the US men experiences stalking at some point of their life.
- Stalking incidents are mostly happened with young people having an average age bracket of 18 to 24 years.
- Most of the people are stalked by someone they know.
What do stalkers want from their victims?
Stalking sometimes goes beyond just following and keeping an eye on someone. To annoy or disturb someone the stalker can acquire different tactics which may not just happen in person but online. Stalking defines the behavior of unwanted conduct toward a person for which the other person feels danger or is afraid of living the life they want.
The behaviors of stalking include;
- Unwanted and repeated phone calls, text messages, emails, etc. that may not be threatening
- Opting for different mediums and profiles to contact a person when they have been blocked from their personal profile
- Posting screenshots, pictures, text messages of a person in discussion over social media groups
- Waiting and staring from outside the victim’s house, college, classroom, workplace, etc.
- Leaving gifts, notes, flowers, etc. for the person at his/her place
- Spreading rumors and false information about the person online
- Vandalizing on victim’s property and sabotaging one’s reputation
- Breaking into a person’s home without permission just to threaten or make their presence felt
- Collecting information from friends, coworkers, family, and neighbors
- Hacking someone’s personal social media account and email address to gain information
- Seeking ways to access the person in person or online.
Law enforcement and psychiatrists establish categories for stalkers in a way that they pose risk to a certain victim. Studies on the stalkers in psychology state that the risk of stalking comes in different forms. The outcome of such risks helps mental health professionals in understanding the stalkers better and know what they want from their victims. If you believe that you are being stalked, then it is vital for you to take into account what type of stalking you are suffering.
Different Forms of stalkers
According to studies, 7% of men and 16% of women are stalked once in their lifetime in the United States. This is why every state and federal government regulates anti-stalking laws. These legislations carry a legal remedy if they intentionally aim to intimidate, harass, or terrorize someone.
Here are some categories of stalkers that state and federal governments define in order to press charges depending on their behavior.
Predators are usually sexually obsessed with the opposite gender and live often in sexual fantasies. They are typically male where the victims are commonly women whom they stalk with the intent of sexual interest. It often starts with voyeurism which acts as a precursor to some offensive sexual advances.
Sometimes stalkers are ex-lovers and ex-partners who have been rejected by the person they stalk. These kinds of stalkers do not want their relationship back but they just can’t get over the rejection embarrassment and to set the emotion aside, they just want to take revenge in the form of stalking. Their behaviors include some of all the ones mentioned above.
Sometimes individuals become stalkers after mistreatment that they observed from the other person. These individuals are often mentally retarded or experience mental illnesses such as paranoia or persecution. Stalking the person gives them the pleasure that they are disturbing someone’s comfort having significant power over the victim.
These stalkers are called incompetent suiters because they do not fit in any relationship for long. They target strangers and try to convince them to be in a relationship with a desire to date them. They often are blind to the feelings of others. For this reason, they remain lonely and have poor social skills.
Sometimes stalking just doesn’t stop over staring or sending messages. Intimacy-seeking category of stalkers has a delusional belief that the victim loves them or will learn to love them. They often focus on celebrity figures or popular beings.
Sometimes people are stalked by a paid hitman who is hired to kill the victim which is one of the dangerous categories of stalking. It is also reported that stalkers are often unemployed or underemployed with narcissistic personality traits.
Political stalkers are often motivated by their political beliefs and stalk victims that are against their political views.
Stalking does not limit itself to a person. Until the desires have flourished, victims can suffer from extreme stalking and it can be precarious.
However, stalking does not always come with a warning. It is a directed behavior toward someone from a current or previous relationship. A victim can be stalked by his friends and family; classmates or roommates they know. Sometimes they are stalked online by someone they have never met before.
Here are a few directions to identify healthy and unhealthy disturbing behaviors of someone that may require support;
- Creating healthy boundaries; Healthy boundaries can be created when you deny someone’s request and the other person accepts and does not come back or contact you again.
- Unhealthy behaviors – They are unhealthy when you say ‘no’ to a person’s request and they do not stop following or bugging you. They come again and again until you listen to them.
- Document everything when you need help – When you say no and the person keeps trying to make you say yes to satiate his desires and contacts you more often.
- Consider calling the police when – the stalker contacts you personally again and again and threatens you indirectly and does not accept ‘no’ as an answer.
- Contact 911 when – the person directly threatens to harm you physically or tries to damage your property.
Take action against it as it’s a serious crime
Stalking itself sometimes may or may not be considered illegal. However, the outcomes from such behaviors speak for their legality. In many states including Colorado, if someone is found violating the stalking laws, they can face harsher penalties depending on the outcome and the emotional damage.
Steps to take when you are stalked – Top Hacks!
Stalkers are emotionally and psychologically driven by their inner desires that they feel pleasure when they see someone disturbed by their unusual behaviors.
If you suspect that you have been stalked, take action before it’s too late.
- Avoid engaging
If someone is repeatedly contacting you through social media, emails, and fake ids after you have firmly said no, just ignore them. Even if they threaten you that they would spread your intimate photographs to your family and friends and contact your coworkers – do not respond. Consume your energy in getting evidence and focus on your next move.
- Avoid blaming yourself for anything
If someone tries to blame you for the reason, they can’t live their life peacefully or tries to convince you to accept that you have done this to them – don’t fall for their tricks. Their cruelty of being selfish and not realizing what you feel tells everything. They are masters at manipulating things.
Remember, you are not responsible for the criminal’s behavior. You said ‘no’ in the first place. You should not carry the burden of embarrassment and shame for their actions.
- Check your social media privacy
Reset the passwords of your social media apps – in case the stalker is your family member, colleague, or friend, always reset your password after some weeks in case you have logged in to the browser of someone else’s system and they gain access to it.
Set up a two-factor privacy setting for your apps – set up a notification whenever someone tries to log in to your account. Also, restrict people from tagging you on social media posts and posting on your timeline.
Block unwanted members and friends on social media – Block the person and unknown people from all your social media accounts and report them if they try to contact you again.
- Utilize available resources to seek help
Lastly, don’t let stalkers disturb your mental peace and affect your feelings in any way. If you are afraid to tell anyone about the person, call 911 or immediately contact a lawyer before the stalker succeeds in his obsessed behaviors.
We have said it before and we will say it again that if you are being stalked, it’s not your fault. You deserve to live your life without any abuse or fear. We hope that the hacks we provided will help you start your path and bring your life to normalcy.
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